Emotional Triggers for Maximum Results | HTH028 | 598

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To achieve the goals in life you have to identify your emotional triggers. Therefore, today, we are tapping into your triggers and fears for the maximum results of your business. Stay tuned and learn what the emotional triggers are, what motivates us to get up and work every day, and how fear can influence your success.

What You Will Learn Emotional Triggers for Maximum Results | HTH028:

•    What the emotional triggers are
•    The true measure of success
•    Matt Andrew’s driving force
•    Matt Theriault’s story
•    How to channel fear to create success
•    The questions to ask yourself on the days when you don’t feel like getting up and going to work

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Transcript:

Speaker 1: This is Theriault Media.

Don’t wait for appreciation to buy real estate, buy for cash flow and wait. In other words, Hold That House. Your hosts Matt Andrews and Matt Theriault.

Matt Theriault: Hey, flipping houses can make you rich. Holding them will make you wealthy. This is the Hold That House Show. I am Matt Theriault, and over there is Mr. Matt Andrews.

Matt Andrews: Say what?

Matt Theriault: And before we begin, we’ve got a free gift for you. Go to holdthathouse.com and download the Four Hour Work Month: The 10 Commandments to Managing Property Managers. It’s the key ingredient to financial independence through real estate that they are not telling you about, and you can get that for free at holdthathouse.com.

Matt Andrews: Absolutely, and, guys, this stuff’s going to save you a lot of time and money because it costs Matt and I a lot of time and money to learn those 10 Commandments. So take advantage of that, guys. Don’t make the same mistakes we made early on in our business, learn from our mistakes. Learn how to effectively manage those property managers. It doesn’t matter if you have the best property in the world if you don’t know how to manage the property manager who’s managing that property, you’re going to drop the ball. It’s not going to perform like it should. So get that. If you don’t have it, get it right now. You need it. It’s free.

Matt Theriault: Check out number seven, that was a $500,000 lesson for me. It cost me half a million dollars to be able to write that sentence from a place of experience.

Matt Andrews: Wow. It’s not going to happen for you guys.

Matt Theriault: And it’s yours for free.

Matt Andrews: That’s right.

Matt Theriault: Well, if it does, that’s on. That’s your fault.

Matt Andrews: That’s right. After you have it, you can’t forget it.

Matt Theriault: Exactly. You have no excuse.

Matt Andrews: That’s right.

Matt Theriault: So today, we’re talking about something a little bit differently but possibly the most important part of your business.

Matt Andrews: Yeah. I think it is.

Matt Theriault: Tapping into your emotional triggers for maximum results, and I’m reading a book right now that I just shared with Matt. It’s a nice, cool little book called Cash Flow Forever. So it got my attention. The author is Jeff K. Johnson. And he has a chapter in here called What Is Your Emotional Trigger? So let me just … I’m going to read a little bit of this and then some examples, and then kind of go through introspective research on yourself and figure out what really drives you because this is a very important part of your business, of any business, but a real estate for sure.

“To achieve my goals in life, I learned early on that I needed to identify what I call my emotional triggers. What deep issues energize me to get up in the morning and work hard to achieve my goals? What are my real underlying motivations to succeed? Each of us needs to ask ourselves these questions. We need to find out what drives us. So ask yourself, what are the deep emotional triggers in my life that will keep me focused on reaching my goals no matter how great the obstacles I encounter?”

Now I’m going on and just read this next paragraph.

“It’s been said that money can’t buy happiness. That is definitely true, and I know this is for certain, money can’t buy motivation. I have seen many people try real estate investing and have a desire to get rich. Each time they encounter a few challenges and their real investing career comes to an end. The desire just to own a lot of real estates and to be wealthy simply isn’t enough. There needs to be a more powerful, more compelling reason to keep each of us on track to achieve our goals.”

All right?

Matt Andrews: So true.

Matt Theriault: So I can really agree with that. So here are some examples. What are some emotional triggers? And he has a list of examples, and these are really good examples. That’s why I wanted to share them with you.

“First, maybe you are a nerd in high school and want to prove to your classmates and to the world that you are somebody. Or your family moved from rental home to rental home while you were growing up, and you have a deep desire to have the stability that comes with owning real property. Or your mother and father never thought you would amount to anything, and you’re willing to prove to them that you have succeeded in life. Or you never went to college and you desperately want your children to have the benefits of a college education. Or you will do whatever it takes to retire at a young age.”

I can identify with that one.

Matt Andrews: Exactly.

Matt Theriault: Other is, “You struggled academically in high school or flunked out of your freshman year of college but told yourself you would succeed at something. One of your longtime friends has become a successful real estate investor and you believe that if he can do it, then so can you.”

That’s a good way of thinking. A lot of people think if they can’t do it, then I can’t.

Matt Andrews: Right.

Matt Theriault: But this is a better way to look at that.

Matt Andrews: Sure.

Matt Theriault: “You grew up poor and have a deep desire for some of the material comforts in life. Or you admire a financially successful person and want to be like them.”

So those are some examples of emotional triggers of what drives us to succeed and why we probably chose real estate because we think that’s going to be access to satisfying that emotional trigger.

Speaker 1: We’ll be back with more right after this.

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Matt Theriault: So, Matt, what is your big emotional trigger, and how do you use it to get the success that you’ve gotten?

Matt Andrews: Yeah, absolutely. You know you and I have talked about this a lot together, just as we’re helping each other grow our businesses and we talk about it as our why. What’s the why behind what we’re doing, what is that emotional trigger, what’s the driving force? And it can’t just be I want to make this much money, or it can’t even … I mean, I guess it could be a materialistic thing that gives you some kind of, help you achieve an in. But it’s usually most effectively not something like that either. It’s something that drives you beyond money, beyond what I call antiquated measures of success, like how big your house is or what kind of car you drive, even though we look at those things as measures of success. Freedom is really the true measure of success now I think, especially for entrepreneurs, is how much freedom do you have to live the life you want, and it all ties back to your why.

So for me, and this is going to sound a little bit … I’m going to sound like Polly Anna or some kind of optimist. I really am driven to feel like I’m helping people, doing something good in the world. I want to do it. Here’s the thing about charity and I’m the board of two charities. I’ve helped start charities. My wife spends her life helping people, and I can tell you this with certainty, it doesn’t pay the bills. Helping people and charity and any of those kinds of things don’t pay the bills, but …

Matt Theriault: They call it a nonprofit for a reason.

Matt Andrews: They call it a nonprofit, okay, yes, exactly. Yeah, less than a profit even is what they should call it. But it’s so important, and it fulfills us in a way that drives us to achieve these things in a real estate business so we can do that.

So, I mean, I’ll just give you a quick story. After I got out of school, I got a degree in psychology. I loved and through college interned and was certified as a behavior training specialists. I worked with autistic children. I loved it. I thought it was fantastic. Every day to me when I was in that full-time, right out of college, and really I did it full-time through college was … To me, it felt like playtime. I loved it. I loved being with the kids. I loved helping them overcome certain challenges. I loved helping them change certain behaviors. I liked working with the parents to show them those changes and help them continue to implement it and institute it. It was fulfilling. I loved it. It was great, right?

I got out of school, started really looking at how I could do this full-time and realized my ceiling was going to be about $30k a year, at least then coming out of school in ’99, 2000, whenever it was. And I just realized, wow. Helping people, there’s not a big buck in that, and I can’t live the kind of life I live or want to live, and I can’t help that many people if I’m doing this. I’ve got to find another vehicle, something that will take care of the bills, take care of the finances, take care of everything I want so that I can have the freedom so that then I can do this for free and it doesn’t matter if I’m getting paid or not.

So for me, that really was the driving force as me and my wife created our business was how can we help people that we want to help without being worried about being paid for it, whether that’s working with autistic children or starting charities like we do now and traveling the world. How can we do that, and to us, it was real estate.

Matt Theriault: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Matt Andrews: So that helped me start setting specific goals for once I reach this level in real estate, once I have this much money in the bank as a result of real estate, once I have this much passive income coming in month after month from real estate, here is what that will create for me. The freedom to do this, this, and this. Right? So I stayed and kept focus. Early on it was about I want to get this many deals done. I want to make this much money. And I realized that I quickly had to replace that with the real why, and that was I want to be able to travel to India with my wife and help my friend Matt with his charity he just started where he’s working with orphan children. And to be able to take two months and do that and not worry am I going to have any money when I get home, is my house going to be foreclosed on when I get home, that type of thing, or am I going to have to live hand to mouth and then have to come back and start over every time I go somewhere for a month and do that.

So it was how do I make that fit, it was that lifestyle, and as long as I kept that in my mind instead of like a number or that being the driving motivation, then the numbers and the goals came as a byproduct of that. So you know your why, you know why you want to do it, you set the goal so that you can achieve that, and then it’s just reverse engineering that process. Okay, I need to do this many deals or I need to have this much passive income. Here’s what it takes to do that, and then you put that in place. And all along the way, when you hit those obstacles, you hit those hard times, what are you thinking about? You’re thinking about being able to go do that in India or being able to go here and do this or being able to help a family friend when they need it and to be that person who can say, “Hey, you know what, I’ll take time off,” or, “I’ll pay that bill for you,” or whatever it is. But being able to do that.

And, for me, it’s also about being able to show that to my daughter. I want to be able to show that to her, and I don’t want to be the guy who says, “Help people. Live life. Love people and help them as you can,” but I’m working all the time and not really helping people. I want her to see me doing that. And so if I got I done to I guess the single seed right now for me, one of my driving why’s is I want to show my daughter how you can really help people. And for me, entrepreneurship and real estate is just the car I get in to get me there or the boat or the train or whatever that takes me to that place. And that really is my why.

For me, it wasn’t I’m going to show that teacher that told me a loser or I was a nerd in high school and now I’m going to show those people. Those can be good motivations too, but for me, it was more about, look, that’s the life I want to live. I kind of felt like I was sold a lie in school and got out, was disenchanted with the time I’d spent and the money I’d spent to be educated for what seemed like $30,000 a year or whatever it was. And so that made me take action. So I think that’s my why is being able to show my daughter.

Matt Theriault: Got it. Love it.

Matt Andrews: Yeah.

Matt Theriault: Can I ask you a question about that?

Matt Andrews: Yeah. Yeah.

Matt Theriault: So your why is really being a good example to your daughter.

Matt Andrews: I think so. Having the time to think about those things and form them. Yeah, I think it is. Yeah.

Matt Theriault: Did you lack a really good example in your life?

Matt Andrews: I have. I actually am very blessed to have very good parents, but I’ve had a lot of close friends that have … Well, not a lot but a few close friends that let me down certain ways that I didn’t want to be like that. So I was motivated by having some people close to me and some family members, not my parents, but some other family members that I felt like, “Wow. I know what I don’t want to be like,” or, “I know what I don’t want to do. And I know I want to do better than that.” So yeah, I did have some motivation there.

Matt Theriault: Being a parent puts a lot of that stuff into perspective.

Matt Andrews: It does. Yeah, and you know for me it’s a relatively new thing. So your son’s a little bit older than my daughter, but for me, it does make you start thinking about those things. And you think about it on a whole different level because now it’s like it’s not just you, you’re trying to show something to somebody.

Matt Theriault: Right.

Matt Andrews: And to me, it’s made me that much more cognizant of being authentic. Like you can put anything you want to on Facebook, but you’re not going to fool a really smart little two-year-old that sees what you’re doing and what you’re not doing. To me, that’s kind of like wow, I got to be the thing that I want her to believe that I am. And not that I thought I wasn’t necessarily before, but it just makes you more aware of that.

Matt Theriault: Yeah.

Matt Andrews: And I think self-awareness is a big thing, and probably lacking in our world in a lot of ways. So self-awareness.

Matt Theriault: I feel it, dude. I feel it. It’s right there. I mean, that is a big reason to why you are successful and why you’re able to do what you do.

Matt Andrews: I appreciate it, man. Your story is a little different than mine.

Matt Theriault: Way different.

Matt Andrews: Yeah.

Matt Theriault: You’re a far better guy than I am.

Matt Andrews: No, no, no. It’s not about that at all, but you had some things I know that you’re about to tell us that really kind of said, “Hey, you know what, I’m going to prove this to me,” or this person or that person. So I’m anxious to hear what your why is.

Matt Theriault: Somewhat. I think my first half of my life, my real emotional trigger was music.

Matt Andrews: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Matt Theriault: And I was a music producer, and I did very well for myself and money just followed it. I got very fortunate that way. There was no goal setting. There was no let’s do the daily activities that are going to produce the results. There was nothing like that. I just produced music, and I was fortunate enough that people wanted to spend money on it. So I did very well that way.

But then the digital download came along. I always have a problem with that word. I wonder if that’s emotional. Digital download.

Matt Andrews: Napster came out. Just say that.

Matt Theriault: Right. When that came out, it turned the whole industry upside down and put us smaller labels out of business almost overnight. I mean, a six month period from riding high in May, shot down in June. However, that goes.

Matt Andrews: I remember.

Matt Theriault: And yeah.

Matt Andrews: It changed everything.

Matt Theriault: I was a 34 years old, and I found that there wasn’t a whole lot of demand for an out of work music executive.

Matt Andrews: Yeah, and not a rare thing either. There are a few of you out there floating around at the time I’m sure.

Matt Theriault: The industry shrunk so much.

Matt Andrews: Especially in LA.

Matt Theriault: For sure. So after bagging groceries there for six months realizing, “Wow. This is my plan B. This is really where it is?” So now that I’ve been able to recreate my life through real estate, and I really will say that I did do it for the money. I chose real estate because I wanted my lifestyle back that music had given me, and based off a lot of the statistics and the logic and the reasoning and the different concepts and the stuff we’ve shared here on the show, I saw all that stuff and it presented wow, if I’m going to get my life back, this is where I got the best shot. Plus I’m halfway through my life. I need to do it rather quickly.

Matt Andrews: Yeah.

Matt Theriault: Because I don’t have the whole life to build it all back up again.

Matt Andrews: Right. So there’s urgency there too.

Matt Theriault: Absolutely. So really what drives me is fear that wow, that’s my alternative.

Matt Andrews: Yeah.

Matt Theriault: That’s my plan B is like what if I don’t succeed at this, that’s where I end up. If I don’t up today and go to work, that’s where I’m headed. I’m not talking necessarily my why, we’re talking about an emotional trigger.

Matt Andrews: Yeah.

Matt Theriault: That’s something that sparks deep emotion in me, and now that I am a father, I’ll be damned if I’m going to be bagging groceries and being a father. Because that’s just … And God blessed those that are able to do that and make that work. It just would not work for me. That scares me to death.

Matt Andrews: And you weren’t afraid to roll up your sleeves and do it, but then you also weren’t afraid to move beyond that.

Matt Theriault: Right.

Matt Andrews: Because you had suffered a huge setback. Your entire industry got turned upside down. Now you told me this story before and I know your history. So tell them what it was that kind of got you out of that. I mean, somebody came to you that you were working with, right?

Matt Theriault: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Matt Andrews: Your manager. Like tell them that because that’s pretty cool.

Matt Theriault: Sure. There was a day where they were short on staff on checkers, and I was bagging groceries. They had asked me to go ahead and check the groceries. And this nice looking lady come through. I don’t know. She’s 30-something. Kind of your typical soccer mom would probably fit in a yuppie category. She looked very affluent and she had on her little exercise outfit. It was perfectly matching and her gold earrings, and her makeup was perfect. Blah, blah, blah. She’s on the cellphone and kid was in the stroller. She had another kid in the basket, and after all of her groceries came through and her total came up, I had said, “Here’s your total,” whatever it was. She’s hardly even listening to me, she just kind of while she’s talking on the phone, she opens up her wallet to give me her ATM card, and out of her wallet fell her ATM receipt. And I couldn’t help but sneak a glance at the balance. I was like, “How much you got?”

Matt Andrews: Just curious.

Matt Theriault: The balance was $256,000. I don’t know what account that was, but I just knew that had been about six months since I had seen that in my account.

Matt Andrews: Right.

Matt Theriault: And it just kind of hit me the reality was, “Gosh, if I continue to do what I’m doing, I will never see that again. I’ll never see it.” And so I felt physically nauseous, physically sick. I had to excuse myself from my job. I went out to the car. I cried. I prayed. And I just kind of like there’s got to be a better way, God. Please reveal this to me because I can’t do it. I don’t know which way to go. And I walked in and a grocery store manager, of all people in the whole world, he noticed that I was a little bit more emotionally distraught than normal. I was at a bitter time during my life. But he noticed that something was up, and we had a talk.

He asked me up to his office, and we talked. I told him, and he laid out this whole plan of this is what he’s going to do. I’ve been here, I’m just a few years away from retiring with a 20-year retirement, and along the way, I’ve been able to acquire half a dozen apartment buildings. So this is going to subsidize that, and I’m going to live a much better life in retirement at the age of … I don’t know, 38 or something is when he was going to retire, then I did while I was working. And then he said these final words to me, he says, “Matt, real estate is the final frontier where the average person has a legitimate shot at creating real wealth.” And I was just like …

Matt Andrews: I’ve heard you say that many times.

Matt Theriault: I’m a believer.

Matt Andrews: Yeah.

Matt Theriault: I’ve repeated that over and over and over again. I wish I could find him to tell him what those one words, that one statement did because it changed the course of my life.

Matt Andrews: Yeah. You should try to find him, have him on the show. That would be awesome.

Matt Theriault: That would be great. And here we are today.

Matt Andrews: Now when he saw that in you, and I remember you even said he kind of asked, “So what are you doing right now?” And because he saw more in you and certainly not disparaging anybody that bags groceries, nothing wrong with that. That’s honest work, right? But he saw something in you that was kind of like, “Is this guy working towards something? Is he trying to something?” Because he knew you were beyond … He knew you were being underutilized bagging groceries, right?

Matt Theriault: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Matt Andrews: And so he did you a favor there and opened your eyes. I think that’s an awesome story.

Matt Theriault: So that’s my emotional trigger. I never want to go back there. I’m scared to death of going back there.

Matt Andrews: Sure.

Matt Theriault: Now it’s 12 years, 13 years later, and I can’t afford to do over again, right?

Matt Andrews: Nope.

Matt Theriault: And I certainly don’t …

Matt Andrews: You have a family and you got little man depending on you. Yeah, it’s not an option, is it?

Matt Theriault: Yeah.

Matt Andrews: So that fear when used the right way and channeled the right way … Well, I should say this. Fear, when not used the right way, will immobilize you and make you freeze up and make you stay right there bagging those groceries metaphorically speaking, right? Fear when used the right way and channeled the right way, well, guys, then you do what Matt’s done. You create a big company. You become a successful real estate investor who’s working in 10 different markets, and that’s how you can use fear the right way. But channeled the wrong way, what does it do? Completely immobilizes you. Makes you stay right where you are, and you never grow again. If you never grow or if you’re not growing, you’re atrophying, you’re shrinking.

Matt Theriault: Well, there’s two ways of fear. Fear can cause you to curl up in the corner and scream surrender, or it can cause you to stand up and fight for it. So we all react in different ways, and that’s how fear has served me.

Matt Andrews: Very well.

Matt Theriault: I saw something really interesting. It was an interview with Will Smith. He was being interviewed by Oprah, and he had said to this day after he’s made millions and millions and millions of dollars, he still wakes up in cold sweats fearing to have to go back to the streets of Philadelphia to poverty. And look at how that’s driven him.

Matt Andrews: And that’s the Fresh Prince of Bel Air talking.

Matt Theriault: Yes. I would suppose that’s good company.

Matt Andrews: No, I do like Will Smith, and I’ve heard that story. Yeah, I’ve heard that same variation of that story from a lot of successful people. So it’s not rare for someone to have that fear of, “Hey, this is what life can be, and it’s not going to be my life,” and that’s strong. I think everybody in some way can relate to that, whether that was you were a nerd in high school and you don’t want to go back to being a nerd. Like kind of that one example you read in the book or whether that is I lived on the streets and I’m not going back to that or I lived in fear and worry about not being able to support my family, I’m not going back to that. That is a huge motivator, and that’s awesome. So I’m glad you triggered it that right way so you could help all the rest of us.

Matt Theriault: Amen, brother.

Matt Andrews: Yeah, man.

Matt Theriault: We need to give each other a big hug after this.

Matt Andrews: I know, right? This is going the be a bro thing after.

Matt Theriault: All right. So we’ll leave you with this. We’re talking today about tapping into your emotional triggers for maximum results. So the two questions asked my our author Jeff Johnson at the beginning of this chapter, it’s chapter four of Cash Flow Forever. Go out and get that. I got mine on Kindle. And the two questions I’ll leave you with for this are what deep issues energize me to get up in the morning and work hard to achieve my goals? What are those deep issues that energize you to get up, and what are your real underlying motivations to succeed? Each and every one of us should answer to those two questions. And on those days where you don’t feel like getting up and going to work, tap into those questions or the answers to those questions. And get the lead out.

Matt Andrews: There it is.

Matt Theriault: Right.

Matt Andrews: Awesome.

Matt Theriault: I’ll end with this. I think it was Jerry West, the basketball player, said, “If working enough on the days we felt like it was all it took to be successful, we’d all be successful.

Matt Andrews: There you go.

Matt Theriault: It’s getting up and going to work on the days we don’t feel like it is where the difference is made.

Matt Andrews: Sure, and sometimes the level of discomfort you’re willing to go through is going to be exactly in proportion with how much success you have, right? Ain’t nothing doing it.

Matt Theriault: Love it. That’s it for today. Flipping houses can make you rich, holding them will make you wealthy.

We’ll be back next week. Until then, remember, don’t wait to buy real estate, buy real estate and wait.

Speaker 1: Hold That House.

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